PSALM 37: 7-9
Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil. For evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land.
This is such a hard topic and issue for me to learn! I have a family trait that has been almost bred into me by my father. Yell now, ask questions later oh, and never apologize. I find it so hard to keep my temper when dealing with even the most minute or trivial issues.
My daughter came home after riding the Bus from her new school for the first time. My wife and I were both there to greet her and both of us realized something was wrong when she got off the bus. We thought that she was going to be so happy, so I had thought because this was the day she gets to ride the bus for the first time. She did not look very happy. After we picked her up and drove home, we asked her why she seemed so sad? She immediately just said that she wanted to go up to her room and start her homework. My wife and I both tried to ask her what was wrong several times until she finally broke down and started crying about how her teacher asked her to redo her work over again and do it faster. Of course, this is her words and we do not know the teachers story, yet.
My wife got her to settle down a little bit, but mind you our daughter is the head strong I can do it my self without any one's help kind of girl. She started raising her voice over Mom so I immediately went on the "MY VOICE IS LOUDER THAN YOUR VOICE AND IF YOU DON'T LISTEN THEN I WILL PULL YOU BACK OUT OF THIS SCHOOL AND PUT YOU BACK INTO HOMESCHOOLING!"
Wow, where did that come from? I know that sometimes she needs someone to have a firm voice and to stop her from talking over her Mom or myself for that matter. But, I would have to say that my father just jumped out of me and blasted her like a Heavy Blaster from STAR WARS! Yea, I am an old Star Wars Geek all grown up..
After my tirade, I knew that I had spoken harsh words out of anger and spite, which she never deserves any of that. I feel remorse and still have not apologized to her for yelling at her the way I did. Looks like it is time for me to go and be humble before the Lord and say I am sorry to the most wonderful daughter in the world. Being a father sure does make you learn very quickly about mistakes. My wife never said a word, but I could tell she thought I overstepped my bounds.
So now, I pray that God shows me the way to be patient! Please Lord, forgive me for my sins. Show me the righteous path and show me the truth no matter how hard or bitter it is for me to swallow. I thank you Lord so much for my daughter. She is so precious to me, just as Christ Jesus is to you. Please change me from within to be a patient man.
In Jesus name, Amen.
15 comments:
Steve,
First of all I completely understand where you are going with this and I am humbled by this sense of humility within you. It is a side I have never seen and one that I can tell is God's working within you.
First of all, patience is a fruit that is produced when we are truly walking with the Lord. It is the times of learning to deal with emotions that produces this fruit. Just like when you plant something, you water it, provide it all the right nutrients and sun and yet it never grows, and then one day it sprouts. Patience isn't just handed out with the right kind of ingredients, it takes time and love, grace and compassion and a lot of time learning to deal with the human emotions each of us can hand out. No two are alike just like no two seeds are alike.
Yet if we take a moment, breath, walk away if necessary and then calm down, we are better able to deal with our initial reaction which wasn't Kailee's anger tonight, it was her determination to handle a difficult time at school and deal with it on her own. Your frustration for not getting her to talk is what lead to the anger that came out in your words.
I love you and will be praying for you that in the days ahead, God will be preparing you for more of the same, so that in time, patience will be the fruit of those endeavors.
Love and Hugs ~ Kat
It's not easy, I always anger quickly. I always have to apologize later. I haven't learned.
I just did that with my 28 yr. old daughter today. God give me strength and patience too!
Yes, patience is difficult. I refer often to the mental gymnastics I have to do in order to exercise it in all situations.
I agree with sister Kat, patience is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. If we are full of His spirit, it is easier to have that trait and be slow to anger, like how the Lord is. We are all works in progress and if we keep surrendering our ways to the Lord, then we are on the right pathway. Blessings to you.
Steve,
You have humbled yourself and prayed and God will heal this situation! Your family is blessed to have you and viceversa.....You have been brought together to help one another and God is leading each one of you and together as a team you will grow is each one of the fruit of the Spirit!
As a Father it is only natural that you want to protect or to lead and it is in these times that we go overboard that we can learn best! You are doing a great job and I know being a step-parent that it is in those moments that I apologized it brought us closer and taught BOTH of us sooo much!
blessings to you
Wow, this is an honest dad post. I don't think I've read a blog post from a man like this one. Thanks for sharing your life experience. I so appreciate your willingness to be real, confess, and pray for patience.
I've heard God answers our prayers by offering us new opportunities to develop the thing we ask for. Thus, you will again have a chance to learn more patience. :) Be on the lookout for another opportunity.
It will come.
God bless you and your sweet family.
Tiffany
Steve,
God bless you and your struggle with patience. I understand completely. My own flaws with which I struggle every day include lack of patience, stubborness, and anger. I work very hard to let the Lord move me and help me to keep those traits under control, yet the people I love the most are often stung by my lack of Faith and lack of Trust. You are blessed with a wonderfully understanding and encouraging wife, and from the comments above, and whole slew of supportive friends. God bless your journey!
G'day ~ Your post is typical of many of us ... we are our parents conditioning, aren't we. I've walked in those shoes, & felt so terrible that I had not been more understanding & patient. I am sorry, was hard to say but I felt so happy when I said it & asked for forgiveness.
Pop over & read my post (#2) today.
TTFN ~Marydon
What a lovely post. BUT may I suggest you not pray for patience? God never GIVES patience, he teaches it. {{shiver}} May I just say you're IN FOR IT NOW! =0)
J/K
Hope the apology went well. If she's anything like my kids, they forgive so willingly and sincerely.
Erica
Wow! What a sweet post! Humbling ourselves before God is the first step to changing. I have a tendency to raise my voice to get my point across too. I hate it. And I know my kids do too. I have found that when I react properly without trying, as a natural response, which is actually supernatural, is when I have recognized how lovingly God responds to me in all of my garbage and ranting. Receiving His loving care and restoration empowers me to respond to others in the same way. Sometimes, I am amazed at my responses being so calm and rational. I feel like I am out of my body, looking at myself and wondering where did that sweet voice come from. But, I know where! :)
Thanks for being so sincere and honest. I love it.
Christy
Not meaning to be contrary. But, Patience is only a virtue, as long as what you are being patient about is righteous. Jesus was not patient with the money changers in the temple...
Tolerance is the same way. If it ain't righteous. Don't tolerate it.
Patience is not my strong point. Enjoyed your post....
want to say thank you to each and everyone of you who read my post yesterday. It is a hard thing to admit when you are wrong and even harder to apologize for it. Especially to your children. I did spend some time with her and apologize for not giving her the space and time to tell us what her problem was.
She forgave me with no hesitation and then asked me to watch Scooby Doo with her! I will pray to God for Wisdom, Strength and the courage to face any issue that comes up with a loving and open heart!
I have a family trait bred on me by my father. He also, inherited it from his father and I could tell it's a family trait from the past generations.
Before, anger was always by my side; Leading me to do and respond to things that are worthless and then it created hatred. We yell to one another all the time in my family.
When I did a Discipleship school with Youth With A mission in Ghana, I realize who I was and how I can make a change for good having patience and over looking things.
After I finish the School, I went back home and I spoke a lot to each of my family member to have patience with one another and glory to God for the great change.
Thanks for visiting and God bless for the post.
Sometimes patience and I do not get along. I know that is a struggle and I realize that God is working on all of us who need to be more patient...Great Post!!!
Tarah
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